The World’s Biggest Gay Club Wasn’t Actually That Gay

 Would this really be a gay guide to Bogotá if I didn’t go to the biggest gay club in the world?

For a first clubbing experience, Theatron was certainly an experience. Last night I went to the biggest gay bar in the world, Theatron, located right here in Bogotá. Boasting around 13 different different rooms, it would be an insult to writing a blog about queerness in Bogotá without touching on this place.

First impressions were fantastic. I was enjoying exploring all the various floors and was having a good time dancing. There was such a great variety of music from floor to floor, with interesting themes, great cocktails, and an excessive amount of Heineken ads. To think that I was in this massive club, designed for and filled with other queer people, how could I not be having a great time?

But then, it happened. The alcohol wore off, and all of a sudden, I was aware of my surroundings.

A Colombian told me that “party in Latin America is loud as hell”, and they did not lie. These rooms were front-row-of-a-death-metal-concert loud. Good luck hearing anyone at all, however it did provide a good excuse of not failing at Spanish with the bartenders. And remember how I said it felt nice being surrounded by people like me?

You would not believe how wrong I was.

Straight people. Straight people everywhere. As far as the eye could see. It felt like the embodiment of the “1 in 10 people are gay” statistic. 9 out of 10 times I looked around I’d see a woman grinding on a man, or groping each other, or doing whatever other things straight people do. Not to mention that that 1 in 10 was almost unanimously gay men. I saw a total of one lesbian couple my entire time. I never thought I’d go to a gay bar and feel like I was the outside group.

By the time I got hold of another drink, I’d become too aware. I had reached my straight people capacity. Eventually I asked my friend to ask the bartender where the lesbian areas were, because I’d been told Theatron had areas designated for specific sexualities. But no. Apparently, they had gotten rid of all of them. I can understand the reasoning behind it, but I will not lie; I was disappointed. Having a designated lesbian area where I could just be around my own kind would have been a much-needed relief, and honestly would have enhanced my experience so much.

Overall, Theatron was a good time, but to be honest, it made me miss my girlfriend. What’s the point of going to the world’s biggest gay club if I don’t have someone to be gay with? To the right person, Theatron could be one of the best places they’ve ever been to. I will never sit here and deny Theatron was awesome, I do wonder whether clubbing is for me at all. I think at the end of the day, I would recommend Theatron, for both the gays AND the straights, because it would seem like straights are more welcome than I was.

Hasta Luego,

Milly

Thanks for these photos, Dana. :-) (i did forget to take my own)